ok, so just about everyone knows about my strange obsession for america's next top model (and if you don't then: hi, i am spike and i am addicted to antm.). yes, i am the first person to admit that a) it's trash b) it's stupid c) it's fixed and d) it kind of sends the wrong message. but it's like CRACK for me.

anyway, vh1 has been having a mega marathon of this lovely show all week, and i have been watching fairly religiously. i am watching cycle 8 now, and am laughing my ass off. does anyone remember this dialog? kathleen is dumber than a colony of amoebas.

with twiggy: (who, by the way, is my favorite judge and who won't be back next season...)

kathleen: i believe that if the animal's alive, you shouldn't kill it to make a fur coat or anything. but if it's already dead, then you could take the skin off and just make a coat.
twiggy: how would it be already dead
kathleen: let's say, you know, because animals fight each other in the jungle, right, in the woods?
twiggy: that's not how they get fur coats.
kathleen: animals die like people die - naturally, sometimes, right?

with nigel: (who is such EYE CANDY for even me, queer and all):

nigel: i think you didn't completely understand the concept
kathleen: i know, right?

awesome antm moment. oh, and look at my userpic.

i forgot to mention a spectacular event that i witnessed this past weekend:

the indigo girls were on mtv.

i repeat... the indigo girls were on mtv. this has to be a first since 1990 (not counting the now infamous tila tequila/galileo snafu). ok, they were only kind of on mtv, but they were on mtv.

here's the 411.

on saturday i was extremely hungover from overdoing it on friday night. i didn't want to get out of bed i was so hungover. mtv gave me that oh-so-perfect excuse to stay in bed (not to mention the best hangover activity ever): an america's next top model all day marathon. excellent. my hungover, painful body could stay in bed all day watching hour after hour of tyra banks making a complete fool of herself. niiice.

anyway, since i was so hungover, i was only halfheartedly watching. i heard something on the tv, during a commercial break, about pink's "new" (not so new) special edition holiday album. the commercial explained that the deluxe edition contains a special dvd (umm, wasn't that dvd released back when the album was released? i am not a pink fan, but i acquired it because of IG's role in "dear mr. president," and because amy and emily were featured on the dvd. but that is a moot point...). they were showing clips from this dvd on mtv, and bam! there they were, amy and emily. on mtv.

look, it might seem like a small thing, but any true blue (indigo?) indigo girls fan knows that da girls have not graced mtv since the dollar was still strong to the french franc (and of course since the franc was still in existence, but the euro has not been around long enough), side from a few galileo-esq snafus. so yes, this was kind of a major event. ;)

( top model spoiler-type-talk )

season premier of project runway from 10-11. WHY can't it be on earlier? i am already starting to doze off. i am such an old lady - i go to bed early on work nights. or at least i have been lately. no more staying up until 11...

oh well, it's on bravo. it WILL repeat if i fall asleep.

project runway tonight, bitches! and top model. i am going to be in reality show HEAVEN. wednesdays are good.

also, i turned down a front row pit indigo girls ticket in tucson. because kt tunstall is actually headlining. and i ain't flying to tucson for a 45 minute indigo girls set, followed by an hour and a half of kt tunstall. to make matters worse, brandi carlile is playing with the girls. this is in no way a diss on brandi, but can we say a 45 minute PREDICTABLE setlist?! no thank you. i am going to the two illinois indigo girls shows, and aside from those, i am waiting for some nice general admission club shows. i am kind of sick of reserved, uptight theaters.

in other news, i am working on planning the trip of a lifetime. i'm not going to say anything else until it's more set in stone, because right now it's really tentative.

happy saturday night. i'm just chilling watching/listening to a live performance by the decemberists on austin city limits. i love chill weekends. and since next weekend i'll be in turkey (and probably will not be chilling, in fact i don't think i'll be chilling a lot while i'm traveling), i'm just trying to relax this weekend. i am going to do some halloween-y things tomorrow.

this morning i brought both of the cats to the vet. frisco was her nightmare self at the vet, hissing and growling (no one believes how sweet she is at home. really.), and requiring two people to hold her down. little perennial was an angel, enjoying having everyone fawn over him. anyway, luckily both of them are healthy and are not overweight. excellent. after the prince of darkness fiasco, i am a super worried cat mama.

i am really enjoying all of my concert calls from the indigo girls australian tour. even though they come in the middle of the night here, it's always nice to have voicemail filled with IG love in the morning. go australia!

speaking of australia, i watched about 10 minutes of the real world: sydney. what trash! remember back when the real world used to actually be somewhat educational? mtv used to tackle issues. now they just put seven horny 18, 19, and 20somethings in a house and record them partying, fucking, and fighting. that show has zero redeeming qualities. and i am glad to say i am not addicted to it like i'm addicted to so much other TRASHY reality television. and yes, i watched part of the top model marathon on mtv today...

i'm off to some pre-bedtime pilates.

dear frank (riley),

get on it. the indigo girls' page on high road is very empty. where's mobile? come on, add those confirmed dates.

xoxo

spike

on a total unrelated note, i really don't think it was smart for me to start re-reading midnight express tonight. not smart at all considering it's scary as shit and i will be in turkey in a few days. and don't go telling me it's a good warning. i'm not dumb enough to bring drugs into another country. really, if you do that you're just asking for trouble.

on another unrelated note, i want to publicly thank cornfusion for the concert calls from the brandi carlile show in portland. yeah, maybe i wish i could have been there. but there *was* a top model mini-marathon on mtv. AND, there's no way i can travel for brandi. even if i could, i wouldn't. nope. sorry. my traveling for live music is reserved for the indigo girls and the brunette as a solo artist. only. i won't travel over two hours no, at this point, an hour, for anyone else.

and on a somewhat related note, i do need to update my icon. south carolina and maine need to be red. alaska's not on there, but it needs to be red too.

look, see how this blog post just came full circle?

( short... but top model spoilers )

top model... temporarily kind of gets your mind off your dead pets. :/ 30 minutes until the finale of top chef. NO EAST COAST SPOILERZ, PLZZZ!

although i love the trashy factor of america's next top model i have always disliked janice dickinson. i was glad when she was canned as a judge. and to this day, when she makes a guest appearance on the show, i cringe.

as of right now, i officially hate her. check out this direct quote from her botoxed lips:

"I’m dying to find kids who are too thin. I’ve got 42 models in my agency and I’m trying to get them to lose weight. In fact, I wish they’d come down with some anorexia. I’m not kidding. I’m running into a bunch of fat-assed, lazy little bitches who don’t know how to do the stairs or get their butts into the gym."

i am seriously disgusted and furious. she has always been uber judgemental of the "plus size" (ie size 6) girls on the show, but this is going way too far.

i would never wish anorexia on anyone. trust me, it's ugly. for someone in janice dickinson's position to publically say that not only shows how fucking stupid she is, but how cruel, insensitive, and misinformed she is. no wonder eating disorders regularly plague models. and she's not helping the matter!

source... there are a few more lovely quotes of her's here.

wow! did anyone else watch america's next top model tonight?!? did anyone else notice that the photo shoot was done at the hotel alexandra, the same place that jeremy cowart did much of the indigo girls' despite our differences photo shoot?! dude, jael was sprawled out on the same bed!





sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

edit: here's the top model photo:

i love pop culture trash. what an excellent remedy for reality! here's what's on my mind when i've been thinking, just don't want to think at all:

america's next top model mega marathon on vh1. how happy am i?!? really, if i didn't have to work, i am guessing vh1 wouldn't come off all week.

rosie vs. donald: this may make me a bad lesbian queer, but i can't stand either of them. they're both ridiculous. why the hell did rosie get all up in donald's shit anyway? and news flash: the apprentice is like the worst reality competition show ever (and i've seen my fair share of reality competition tv). and hello, they're both FUGLY. i'm sorry, but they are. i sure as hell wouldn't do either of them - i really can't stand to look at either (especially after their lameass feud).

i am pleased to announce that if i had to choose between lindsey lohan, paris hilton, and brittney spears, i'd most likely do lindsay lohan - just to see if she really has fire crotch. (and speaking of mindless, this is an actual conversation i had with a friend of mine the other day)

i am so pissed at what happened last night on top chef. ( cut for a bigass spoiler )

i may heart the ridiculousness of top model but i think tyra banks is an annoying dumbass. and in cycle three when she took the girls to japan and tried to speak japanese and explain japanese customs, she really proved that her knowledge of east asia is non-existant.

i may be in love with kai from that big loser show.

i want to audition for that white rapper show. that may be my big breakthrough!

i am sad to report, but i think as the cycles progressed america's next top model got even trashier. hmmmm... ala the real world?

i have choosen my favorite designer on top design but the premier isn't for another few weeks.

i heard "blow the whistle" by too $hort and "sexyback" by justin timberlake at work today. then on the way home, i heard e-40 on KMEL jamz. excellent all around.

is lindsay lohan back in rehab?

back to mindless america's next top model drama. really, this stuff is better than crack. and more addictive as well!

so, as anyone who watches bravo knows, bravo is starting a new reality competition show late this month called top design.

and, as anyone who reads my blog knows, i am pretty much addicted to bravo tv in general, especially their reality shows. i know, i know, i'm a whore for bad, ok ANY, reality tv. and bravo's shows are my favorites: project runway, top chef, million dollar real estate, and (ohmygod, i am ashamed to admit to this one) the real housewives of orange county. my tv is constantly on channel 48 (bravo, of course). i always check bravo first before i do my normal channel surfing. even if it's not reality tv, (bravo is doing the reruns of an edited version of six feet under) bravo is my main bitch.

anyway, i think i'm already addicted to top design. i read the bios online. i've seen all of the ads for it. i may be in love with todd oldham. i'm ready for this shit. great, just what i need... another television addiction.

speaking of bad (yes, BAD) reality tv, hello... vh1 is doing a megamarathon of america's next top model. sweetmotherofjesus. i may never have to leave the house again.

( major america's next top model spoiler under the cut )

god i love reality tv. hee hee hee.

starting at noon, there's an america's next top model marathon on vh1! yeah yeah, i know. and yeah, i know i've seen them all before, but i was interrupted by indigo girls tour for a few weeks, and didn't see every moment of the episode that anchal was booted. this also gives me that perfect excuse not to leave the house all day. nice.

ohh, and right now (while i'm waiting for antm) vh1 is airing a program about sugar daddies. niiiice. i heart tv...

has anyone watched the first episode of the real world: denver? is it just me or does that show just get trashier and trashier? i remember when it wasn't such hideous trash. the san francisco and london seasons first come to mind. those people were *intelligent*, *real*, and not only interested in partying and hooking up with one another. hell, sharon (was that her name) from london LOOKED real (none of this super model skinny bullshit) and pedro (r.i.p...), pam, and judd from san francisco were all real people with real goals and real problems. hmmm... i guess sex sells and it's all about the ratings these days. but man, that san francisco season was so non-trashy and even somewhat educational. i can't say the same for las vegas (when i stopped watching) and now denver.

speaking of trashy tv, america's next top model is on in less than an hour. i'd really like to see melrose go home (she just bugs me) but that's not going to happen, i don't think (shutup east coast people who have seen it).

i am bummed that there's not a new top chef on tonight (just reruns). i have so much deep love for bravo's reality series. think about it: project runway, top chef, and million dollar listing... all bravo all reality. AND i saw previews for a new bravo series, top designer (starting in january). seriously now, interior design bores the hell out of me. but so does cooking for that matter, and i love top chef. so i am excited for top designer, cause if it's on bravo, it's going to be good.

i miss six feet under and i wish it wasn't over... that may be the only non-reality tv show that i love love love!

tonight's my big tv night.

first on, my most guilty pleasure america's next top model. appearantly tonight is the "lesbian" episode?! (one of the twins comes out?).

then it's my favorite non trashy show project runway. tonight's the season finale, and i am psyched.

again, east coast and midwest people: NO SPOILERS until after 11pm MY time. i'll kick your ass... ;)