another fourth of july... this year i'm in a very different place than i was last year.

last 4th of july, i literally WAS just getting home. lynn, andy, and i had driven to the pacific northwest to see the indigo girls. we met up with cornfusion, crazycatdoglady, and several others. together, we did all three pacific northwest shows (the oregon zoo, the seattle zoo (ick), and veneta, which is my favorite west coast outdoor venue). on the night of the 3rd/morning of the 4th, we were driving back to the bay area (overnight) after saying goodbye to our friends. if i remember correctly, there was a world cup soccer match that i wanted to watch, so i really wanted to get home in time for that. but it was a tour to remember. the girls were debuting many of their new songs. it was the first time i heard songs like "lay my head down," "pendulum swinger," (and the pendulum swinger was created shortly after we arrived home on the 4th...) "run," and "little perennials" in full. amy was also debuting "three county highway" with emily, but i was lucky enough to hear it in its rawest rawest rawest form (which i kind of prefer) in napa in 2005. but the significance of that lyric, "it's 4th of july and i'm just now getting home, on the horizon i can see 'em all unfold" is pretty substantial for me.

i really thought i could see everything unfold in front of me. i was on tour, having the time of my life with my bestest friends. everything was so perfect. i never imagined what the rest of 2006 and 2007 would have in store for me. i never guessed that i'd come home from the last show of that indigo girls tour (mohegan) and that everything would change for me overnight. i never imagined that i'd fall so ill, somewhat recover, and then have to face some demons of my past all over again. i never imagined that i'd be out of work for almost the rest of the year, on disability. i never imagined that i'd be in physical therapy learning how to balence and walk without falling again. it's scary how much i thought i knew and how little i really knew.

right now it's 4th of july again. west coast tour for this year is already over (though i have reno this weekend, atlanta later this month, and east coast tour in august). this 4th of july is very different than last 4th of july. i'm not taking anything for granted this year, but at the same time i hope that what i can see on the horizon for me really holds true.