i just took a big, fat vicodin to help me sleep. i'm not in much physical pain (at the moment), but the emotional pain is h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e at the moment. i miss my little tuxedo ball of fur so much that i feel like i'm ready to have a melt down.

anyway, here's some meme fun to attempt to temporarily keep my mind off everything.

from heymiddleground:

If you comment on this post, I will choose seven interests from your profile and you will explain what they mean and why you are interested in them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal so that others can play along.

heymiddleground gave me:

atwli: it's just an abbreviation for all that we let in, the indigo girls album that was released in 2004. LJ wouldn't allow me to have something as long as all that we let in in my interests. i have all of the indigo girls studio albums listed as interests.

east asian studies: my major in college. i focused on japan (actually, i know VERY little about china and korea). i <3 my college major. it was a bit wacky (especially in the late 90s), and i got to take some amazing courses. i even got to go live in japan.

lonely planet: my favorite series of travel books. as a travel adviser, i often get asked which guide books i reccommend. i always say "lonely planet," because i find them to be the most informative and culturally sensitive. also, they give a nice range of places to stay (from ultra budget to higher class). one of my dream jobs is to be a writer/photographer/reporter for lonely planet.

pasta: my favorite food. i love all of the varieties and diversty. that one's simple.

polar bears: before i went to alaska in august, alligators and crocodiles were my favorite wild animals. being in alaska, and researching polar bears changed that. polar bears are amazing. not only are they the most dangerous (and cutest) bears, but they are also a great poster child for global warming, something i care about deeply.

the coup: my favorite hip hop/rap band. they're from my hometown (holla oakland!), and they're mega political. they're indie hip hop artists. and if you happened to be at an indigo girls show this past summer, you heard them. their song, "my favorite mutiny" was on the girls' 'stage setup' mix CD. check them out, yo!

waffle house: oh how do i profess my love for the small, yellow restaurant that litters the landscape in the south? open 24-7, i can eat their waffles (pecan), grilled cheese sandwiches, and raisin tost with apple butter anytime (ok, anytime i happen to be in a place with a waffle house). plus they have their own selections on their jukebox. i <3 the "waffle doo woop." ;)

file this under "only in the south."

as marin said, "i looked at this and thought it was in another country." i looked at her and said, "well, alabama is kind of like another country."

cornfusion and i are soooooo going to the waffle house when we're in south carolina!

end of important announcement. go back to what y'all were doing.

i just found out that one of my favorite indie bands from the south (birmingham) is playing a show in the bay area! 13 ghosts will be playing at cafe du nord on 22 april. and this gets even sweeter: they're opening up for maria taylor of azure ray!

when i saw this, i was so happy that i almost spit diet safeway select cola up all over my keyboard.

YAH!!! i've never seen 13 ghosts live before. i am so excited!

reason #391 i miss living in the south...

i miss thunderstorms. like real proper powerful thunderstorms. none of this 30 second shit that we get about once a year in california.

i'd love to have a proper thunderstorm tonight.

. . . this isn't going to help alabama's reputation at all.

there are good things about the deep south! i promise.

so sad. so fucken sad.

it's been sort of a downer of a day so far. i hate that i'm stuck in california and that i'm feeling so unhappy here lately. i've been looking at housing in atlanta this morning, and i'm feeling it so strongly. i'm really feeling that california really has nothing to offer me anymore. yes, i have some great friends out here, but should i really stay in a place i'm feeling so miserable in for friends?

yesterday i was driving up the bayshore freeway. i looked across the bay at the city - there's no doubt, san francisco is a beautiful, magnificent place. but unless i can actually live IN the city, i don't think i'll ever truly be happy here. and living IN the city just won't work out for me at this moment - housing prices are outrageous, and parking is a nightmare. yeah, oakland is probably second most ideal for me, but there's so much i hate about where i live. i hate that my neighborhood is so unsafe (especially for what i pay for it). i hate that if i go to the city at night, i have to be back on BART by midnight AND the walk from the BART station to my building is so unsafe after dark. i feel so trapped.

i also feel isolated from so much that i love - my music (how many times a year does some kickass daemon band come to california? ding ding ding... usually zero!), my old life in the deep south, etc. and y'all know that if you live where i live, there's no sense of community, having a neighborhood, etc. i REALLY REALLY REALLY miss that about atlanta. i miss being able to WALK to my friends' places, i miss knowing my neighbors and getting trashed with them, i think i miss a more simple life, and life in california is so complicated.

for me, this is no novelty. so many people move out to the west coast for one reason or another after college. but i practically grew up in LA. california is nothing new or exciting for me. i don't know what i was thinking when i packed it all up and moved out to northern california again. did i really think i'd be happy?

i want to get out of here. fast. the problem is, i am an adult and i do have stuff tying me down here. mainly a job, a career. i refuse to move unless i have a REAL job. i'm not going to move to atlanta and go back to being a bookseller at borders or something like that. the problem is, i am really happy with my job out here. sure i can transfer to the atlanta branch, but i have to wait until something opens up down there. am i really willing to wait it out? i dunno...

i'm back at work, and dude, is it exciting. ;) no, really, i am happy to be "home" (wherever that is). my cats were thrilled to see me last night. they were so sweet. we all slept on my bed in a pile. they purred all night. it made me happy.

today i'm wearing much of my christmas present from my mother. i have some new jeans on, my new watch, and (my favorite) the "the best girls are southern" tee shirt that she bought me. i looove that my mom bought me that shirt. it tells me that she really supports me moving back to the south. that's good, i was worried she'd start being a cheerleader for me moving to chicago. but she knows that would never happen. she wants me to move back to atlanta - she knows that the ATL is, of all the places, the most like "home" for me. excellent.

anyway, now i'm just chilling. tomorrow is the sing-a-long sound of music! yeah!!! i don't think i can pull my captain von trapp costume off by tomorrow, though. oh well.